Growth Hurts: And That’s the Point

Growth is uncomfortable. It disrupts what’s familiar. It shakes our sense of competence. It asks us to stretch into things we haven’t mastered yet.

And if we’re honest, most of us don’t like being bad at things. Especially not in front of others.

But to get better at anything, we have to be willing to be bad at it first. Every skill has a learning curve. Every muscle needs resistance. And emotional growth is no different.

Practice, Not Performance

We don’t get stronger by avoiding discomfort. We get stronger by training inside of it. That means deliberately choosing experiences that require more of us—emotionally, cognitively, and relationally. The learning zone is rarely comfortable. But it’s always generative.

Growth doesn’t happen through theory. It happens in motion. In the uncomfortable client meeting. In the difficult feedback session. In the moments when we’re unsure but still show up. It’s the decision to stay present, not polished.

High performers often struggle most with the early stages of growth, where competence dips before capability expands. But long-term excellence requires tolerating short-term mediocrity.

Rejection Isn’t Personal

Rejection is data. It tells us where we’re misaligned, where we need to clarify, and where we need to recalibrate. But when we take rejection personally, we block the signal.

If we can’t tolerate rejection, we’ll either avoid risk or default to pleasing. And neither of those strategies creates momentum. Strategic leaders learn to metabolize rejection not by hardening, but by distinguishing between ego bruises and actual missteps.

In fact, strategic rejection—putting yourself in situations where the risk of "no" is real—can accelerate growth. It forces refinement, sharpens your positioning, and builds resilience by necessity.

Conflict is a Crucible

You cannot lead without encountering conflict. You can avoid it, mask it, or defer it. But eventually, it surfaces. The most resilient professionals aren’t the ones who avoid conflict; they’re the ones who’ve built a skillset for navigating it cleanly.

Growth means initiating hard conversations, tolerating disagreement, and remaining clear under pressure. Not to win, but to build clarity and capacity. That’s what makes leadership trustworthy.

Leaders who can’t hold conflict tend to compensate by controlling others or avoiding hard truths. Leaders who can hold conflict become containers for transformation—not just for themselves but for their teams.

Getting Good at Growth

We have to normalize discomfort as a signal of forward motion. Stretching doesn’t feel good. But it makes us more durable, more precise, and more equipped to handle complexity.

The goal isn’t to eliminate uncertainty. It’s to expand your ability to move inside of it. To stay in the room when your instincts want to run. To notice what’s reactive and choose what’s aligned.

Growth isn’t linear. It’s iterative, often messy, and full of useful friction. It exposes our patterns, tests our resilience, and reveals where we need to evolve—not just what we know but how we operate.

Growth hurts. But staying stuck hurts more. One is pain with purpose. The other is pain on repeat.

And you get to choose which one builds you.