Rethinking Confidence: Why Self-Regard Outperforms Perfectionism

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Confidence Misunderstood

In leadership circles, confidence is often equated with certainty, flawless execution, or the absence of doubt. Yet these associations are misleading. Over time, they fuel anxiety, imposter syndrome, and perfectionism—par...

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A Lens on Communication Breakdowns

We often mistake passive behavior for harmlessness. But avoiding conflict doesn’t mean avoiding control. In fact, it can signal a subtler, more corrosive form of control: passive influence.

Indirect communication shows up when someone expresses thei...

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Growth Hurts: And That’s the Point

Growth is uncomfortable. It disrupts what’s familiar. It shakes our sense of competence. It asks us to stretch into things we haven’t mastered yet.

And if we’re honest, most of us don’t like being bad at things. Especially not in front of others.

...
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Self-Awareness: What People Think It Is—and What It Actually Requires

 But much of what is labeled as self-awareness is actually self-description. People can articulate their tendencies, reference their attachment style, even recite insights from therapy or coaching. But the deeper question is: how does that awarenes...

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Leadership Without Illusions: What It Really Looks Like

 Leadership is often romanticized—sold as charisma, vision, and influence. But anyone who’s actually done the work knows that leadership is far less glamorous and far more demanding. It’s not about being the smartest person in the room or the loude...

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The Real Conversation About “Mankeeping” Isn’t About Men

The term mankeeping has gained traction as a way to describe the emotional labor women carry in relationships. It’s a provocative phrase, but I worry it oversimplifies something far more complex: the dynamics of agency and responsibility in emotional...

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Thinking vs. Replication: The Difference Between Processing and Original Thought

If we're not creating anything original, are we really thinking at all?

That question hits at the core of what it means to think versus to replicate.

If all we’re doing is recycling ideas—repeating what’s already been said or following someone else...

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The Myth of Partnership: What It Really Takes to Build Together

People love to say they want a partner. It sounds collaborative, empowering, and even noble. But in reality, most people who claim they want to "partner" don’t fully understand what it requires—the grit, the heavy lifting, and the relentless commitme...

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Projections in Professional Relationships: The Unconscious Dynamics of Work and Leadership

 In leadership and professional environments, projections play out constantly—often subtly, sometimes destructively. These projections—where we unconsciously cast our own unmet needs, fears, or expectations onto others—are not limited to personal r...

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High-Stakes Lifeforce: Why Simplistic Advice Always Falls Short for Complex Leaders

Field notes. 
By Kristen Tolbert

People study entrepreneurs like we're zoo animals—something to be observed, analyzed, maybe even envied. We're a curiosity, a puzzle to solve. What makes someone choose this life?

It’s true, we’re wired differently. ...

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