Understanding Goodhart’s Law of Metrics
Goodhart’s Law: When a Measure Becomes a Target
British economist Charles Goodhart once observed, "When a measure becomes a target, it ceases to be a good measure." This idea, known as Goodhart’s Law, explains why organizations, leaders, and even entire industries struggle when they optimize for nu...
Leadership Is Not a Checklist—It’s a Pressure Test
What most leadership advice misses—and what today’s leaders actually need.
Let’s say what no one else is saying.
Most leadership advice reads like a teacher’s rubric. Don’t do this, always do that, here are the seven sins, five hacks, ten habits. It’s tidy. Digestible. Marketable.
But if you’re...
How Group Culture Shapes Power, Voice, and Psychology
When Insight Becomes Control
By: Kristen Tolbert
Once you see it, you can’t unsee it.
There’s a moment when you realize the circle you're in is subtly shaping who you're allowed to be. Not always overtly, but in tone, hierarchy, and unspoken rules. That moment is disorienting—and illuminating....
People-Pleasing, Power, and the Expert Trap: What No One Wants to Say
People-pleasing isn’t just about being nice. It’s not a personality trait, or a quirk. It’s a relational strategy—one that often masks self-abandonment, fear, and control.
Sometimes it’s obedience: “If I make myself agreeable, maybe I won’t be punished or rejected.”
Sometimes it’s unconscious ...
The Narcissism We Need
Why Healthy Ego Is a Requirement for Leadership
Let’s talk about something most people misunderstand—and most leaders quietly know:
You don’t lead without ego. You just don’t.
There’s a brand of leadership criticism that assumes narcissism is always a flaw—something to root out, diagnose, or lab...
How Founders Must Learn How to Step Back to Scale
Build Strategic Processes
There’s a paradox that many founders come to recognize the hard way: the very qualities that make you an exceptional founder can also become the barrier to scaling your business. In my own experience as the CEO of an executive psychology firm, I've seen how founders who p...
Talk Therapy, Trauma, and the Power of Words: What Actually Heals
It’s not that words are useless. It’s that the relationship wasn't safe.
In recent years, traditional talk therapy has been criticized as inadequate or outdated for trauma work. Modalities like EMDR, Somatic Experiencing, TFCBT, and IFS have become the gold standard for trauma treatment, while ta...
When Positivity Turns Harmful: The Danger of Not Tolerating Negative Feelings
Positive psychology and a positive mindset are powerful tools for growth and resilience—but only when balanced with the capacity to acknowledge and tolerate negative emotions.
When we become so focused on maintaining an upbeat outlook that we inadvertently shut down the expression of pain or str...
Rewiring Leadership: Mastering the Mental Game Under Pressure
Leadership isn’t a smooth journey—even for the most capable, high-performing individuals.
Behind every confident decision and strategic move lies a landscape of doubt, emotional strain, and invisible pressure. The reality is that even top leaders are second-guessed, pulled in every direction, a...
The Joy of Self-Reflection and Unapologetic Self-Acceptance
Self-Acceptance is Revolutionary
By Kristen Tolbert
One of the most enriching experiences in my life is spending time with friends who are not only smart and funny but also deeply self-reflective. We can sit together and openly discuss the messy, crazy, and unpredictable parts of our lives. We s...