We spend enormous effort trying to feel better. But psychologically healthy people aren't the ones who avoid uncomfortable emotion. They're the ones who can feel it, read what it might be signaling, and decide what to do with the information.

Anxiety feels bad. So do anger, jealousy, disappointment...

Politics. Climate. Aging parents. Death. The economy. Social injustice. Animal suffering. The future of civilization. The cruelty of people. The fragility of life. Any one of these concerns are real problems. That is what makes the pattern difficult to see.

The problem is not that the person cares....

Forced positivity doesn't build resilience — it suppresses the emotions that carry information, and adds shame on top of struggle. The research is clear, and it's not on the side of the affirmations.

Optimism, gratitude, and the ability to reframe a hard situation are genuinely valuable. That isn't...