Two Views of Anxiety: The Future You Fear and the Feeling You Won't Have

There are two very different ways to explain anxiety, and each is partly right. One says anxiety is about the future — the mind bracing against a threat that hasn't arrived. The other says anxiety is about the present — a way of not feeling something that is already here. These are usually presented...

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Anxiety is a Strategy: That Fear Might Just Be a Fight With Feeling

Most people treat anxiety as a signal about the future. But anxiety is often not about what's coming. It's about what you're trying not to feel right now. It is not, in these cases, fear of an event. It's fear of a feeling.

That distinction is not a metaphor. It is close to the founding insight o...

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Emotional Communication Starts With Managing Your Own Anxiety

Why attunement is what actually connects, at work and everywhere else.

Most advice about connecting with people is advice about technique. Mirror their body language. Use their words. Nod, paraphrase, ask open questions. Maintain eye contact. The premise is that connection is a set of moves you exe...

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